HOLY JOKES !!!

Certainly thought it was thanksgiving for my yankee friends and so I decided it was time for holy comedy. 

So I jumped into the church comedy manual to dig out all the hilarious I can find especially for you. So my people, abeg abeg abeg (Uti big brother) sit down, relax and enjoy.

One day a pastor and a brother took a visitor to their church on fishing trip in a boat,

Right in the middle of the lake the pastor said “it seems I have forgotten the fishing pole, I’ll be right back''and he immediately stepped out of the boat to the visitor’s amazement walking on water to the shore.

When he returned, the brother also said ‘I need to use the rest room, be right back’. The visitor watched in amazement seeing the brother also move in the same manner to the shore. On returning, the visitor then said ‘I need to use the restroom too’. As soon as he stepped out of the boat. He sank. 

The pastor and the brother now nodded laughing ‘'we should have told him where the rocks are'’. lol… photocopy no easy!(pidgin).

On the way to Sunday school, the Sunday school teacher asked her children why it is necessary to be quiet in church. One bright girl replied ‘’because people are sleeping’’.lol

Okay maybe this one will throw you off your seat?

A little boy was praying “Lord you know my name is Chinedu and I have been praying since January for you to make me a better boy”. Please, biko nu (Igbo), since you have not yet replied. Don’t worry Chineke (lgbo), I 'm having a very good time the way I am”.

If not, this one?

Another little boy was praying “Lord forgive us our trash basket, as we forgive those who put trash into our basket. Make our head like LAWMA (garbage truck) so that whenever we carry too much load. We can empty them at your feet when we come for service. And lord, please don’t forget to put lots of air fresheners in our church so that your angels will not run at the smell of our garbage.

Or this maybe this letter from a boy to his dad will do the trick,

Dear dad,

$chool i$ great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o I would like you to ju$t $end a card a$ I would love to hear from you.

Your $on

Dear son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task and you can never study eNOugh.

Dad.

Okay if you've not smiled or had a laugh while reading, I guess you need a dose of helium…han han (gesture).Oliver Twist!!!!....happy thanksgiving.(smiles).

 

QUOTES 
"You say, 'If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.' You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled." Charles Haddon Spurgeon